Thursday, April 29, 2010
During this whole time of "becoming" His artist, it has been a time of much joy, and much anguish. Other artists will relate to the tug-of-war that grips your soul as you fight to become your destiny, despite loved ones and the world's, expectations of who they think you should be. And all the while wondering, somewhat floundering at times in faith, if God has really called you to be this thing, an artist.
When Jacob was directed by his father to go and find a wife to the house of Bethuel, a near relation, he spent the night in Bethel on his way there. It was the night before his destiny, the night before the blessing became reality. With a rock for his pillow, and the cold earth under him, I can imagine him looking up at the stars, and saying to God, " Do you really want me? Was I wrong to take that blessing? Who really, am I , God?" The brazen young con man, when faced with the reality of his actions, suddenly wondered what he had gotten himself into and was he really man for the job. He closed his eyes and dreamed. He saw a stairway from the ground to the heavens with angels going up and down it, and the Lord was standing there beside him, saying to him, that He will give him and his offspring the very land he was sleeping on, that his offspring would be like the dust of the earth, too numerous to count, they would be spread over all the earth, and the people of the earth would be blessed through him and his offspring!! Not only that, but the Lord tells him He would be with him and watch over him wherever he went, and He wouldn't leave him until He would do all that he promised Jacob.
Jacob, awestruck, awoke and calls the place, Bethel, or house of God. He makes a marker there, and makes a vow: That if God will be with him, and watch over him on this journey, and if He gives him food to eat and clothing to wear, and if he returns safely to his father's house, then the Lord would be his God, and he will give God a tenth of all He gives him.
We fledgling artists, are much like Jacob, and are in the time of the night before our destiny, at the cusp of our change, feeling alone, uncertain, and wondering, like Jacob, will God provide? Will He carry us through this? Like Jacob, we say well, IF He does this, and IF He does that, THEN I will honor Him with my devotion and my tithe. Until then, God, you are on notice with me...is that what we're saying?
If Jacob had only said, God WILL provide, He WILL give me food to eat and clothing to wear, I WILL return safely to my fathers house, and God IS my God, and I will give Him a tenth of all I have, maybe he won't have had to work so long and hard at Laban's.
Times are tough, and the fatted cows are getting lean, still, who is my Provider? If I look to the Labans of this world for the fulfillment of my destiny and calling, I will be a slave to the Labans of this world, for alot longer than I ever wanted. So I call those things into being that are not, and I rest in knowing I am in His perfect will. I make a marker in this place, of recycled plate glass, having no money to buy the glass I want, I use what He has provided. I fuse the pattern of steps going upward and downward, I carve feathers for angels out of glass that was given to me, fuse them and carve again, fire them again, carve their shadow on the stairs. This studio, is my Bethel, and He is here, and I knew it not. Selah.
Jacob's Ladder pictured above, I recently completed after 2 months of hard work. It is priced at $500.